My girlfriend and I ended our long-distance relationship over spring break, a little over a month ago. We ended on good terms, but I couldn’t shake the anxiety and identity crisis that came along with being single after 8 months of dating. It was a shock.
I immediately quit social media so that I wouldn’t see or be tempted to check her updates. I uninstalled Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat from my phone. I installed the Facebook News Feed Eradicator Chrome extension to remove Facebook timeline from the web app.
I began to reflect on myself. I felt as though I had been a negative and pessimistic personality over the past few months (basically since the inauguration of our current President). I simply wasn’t happy with myself. I had no direction in life. I didn’t know what I wanted to make my career. I was lost.
I downloaded two apps — Medium and Quora — to read through self-help posts and figure out how to get myself out of my rut. I came across an inspirational post by Benjamin Foley.
I enacted two of his recommendations — I quit the news and the rest of my social media — the two biggest inhibitors to my happiness. Twitter was gone. Reddit was gone. Even LinkedIn, which I rarely used, was deleted off my phone.
All that was left were my communication apps — Messenger, Slack, and WhatsApp.
Fast-forward to the present, and I have never felt so empowered or held such a positive outlook on my life since I entered college. My withdrawal from social media has changed my life immensely. Here’s what I’ve learned.
My withdrawal was easy to explain at first.
For the people I was close with, I simply told the truth: “Oh my girlfriend and I broke up, so I’m just taking some time off social media.”
For the people I wasn’t especially close with: “I found myself spending too much time on it and wanted a break to get my academic/professional life together.”
But it’s tougher now. I’ve recovered from the breakup for the most part, but I’ve also realized the extent to which social media was holding my back. I can’t just say “I believe social media is a waste of time,” even when it’s something I actually believe. I have to pull back and resort to the “spending too much time” response.
And it’s sad that it’s been awkward to explain to others. We have come to a point in society where everyone (especially a millennial college student) is assumed to have and be active on every form of social media.
2. You experience a (valid) fear of missing out
I missed the birthdays of several of my Facebook friends. I missed my friend’s engagement announcement. I wasn’t able to ‘friend’ the cute girl I hit it off with.
I missed out on the lives of people I only receive updates from via social media. I just didn’t know what people were doing, or the other events of which I was unaware. It sucked.
3. Actual conversations (and friendships) become so much better
But my friend who got engaged went out of his way to message me the news. He even invited me to his wedding.
Talking with people, face-to-face, has become more authentic and genuine than ever before. The fact that I have no idea what my friends have been doing leads me to go out of my way to find out. I’m more attentive, responsive, and engaged in conversations because I’m learning something new about their lives I didn’t know beforehand via social media.
I’ve learned to trust in my friendships. My friendship with someone is just as strong even if I don’t ❤️ them on Instagram or 😆 their punny joke on Facebook. I just have to be sure to catch up with them when I can.
4. Productivity skyrockets
I face far fewer distractions from social media and my phone than before. I’ve passed the point where I check my phone for updates every few minutes, and can truly focus for extended periods of time. I finish my assignments and projects with more quality, less effort, and in less time. Social media no longer encumbers me as a crutch to procrastinate.
It is a gateway push toward efficiency and happiness. If I finish my work quicker, I can move on with my life sooner, hang out with friends for longer, go to sleep (and wake up) earlier, spend more time at the gym, and so on.
5. You find new ways to “waste” time
So I deleted every social media app from my phone, and downloaded Medium and Quora. I recently found myself trying to distract myself from reality (studying for finals) by scrolling through the articles on the former or questions on the latter. I go to the bathroom with my phone in order to read, not check up on the non-existent Facebook updates I missed since getting up from my desk five feet away. I even find myself procrastinating work by cleaning the apartment, spending more time and energy cooking, and planning out my summer projects.
Finish reading @ https://tinyurl.com/yc2l79mq
