You might think you're being honest with yourself, but it's common to fall into the trap of some serious denial (especially when you're in the wrong). Unfortunately, there are many things people lie to themselves about, and they're also not super obvious, so it's possible to get stuck in a bad habit that's tough to break out of. It's better to be real with yourself, though, so you can always keep improving in areas that might need some work.
As a certified health coach, I work with clients on staying true to themselves and really owning their authentic power. Sometimes certain relationships or situations might make you feel less like yourself (or that you won't be accepted if you lay all the cards out); yet, it's better to realize that surrounding yourself with those who like you for all your traits and really understand who you are will benefit you and your own idea of self-worth in the long run. Plus, it's never good to be dishonest with yourself, as if you can't be true, it'll be hard to come off as a genuine person to others (no one should know you better than you know yourself, right?). So, here are 11 common lies you might tell yourself and how to quit the nasty habit.
1. That Narcissism Will Change
According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a therapist and professor, over email with Bustle, if you think you're not narcissistic, or that your partner isn't, but all signs point towards yes, it's better to get out, as the trait likely won't change. "If s/he is entitled, grandiose, superficial, arrogant, and lacks empathy - s/he won't change. And your love won't change them. This is an important insight before you waste months, years or decades trying to change them," Durvasula says. It sounds extreme, but it's pretty real, and it can be tough to deal with.
2. That Exercise Alone Will Make You Healthy
Of course, exercising regularly is great for your health and wellbeing, and it does aid in weight management and better heart health. Yet, it's not an excuse to eat all the cookies you want (well you could, but you might increase risk for disease). Instead, "focus on healthy nutritional calories - (no fads), fruits and vegetables, multigrains, lean proteins, healthy hydration - there are no shortcuts - so work on cleaning the cupboards and eating mindfully," suggets Durvasula.
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3. That You Can "Fix" People
It's impossible (and not right) to control other people or try and "fix" their qualities that you don't necessarily appreciate, says NYC based therapist, Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, to Bustle. "People also lie to themselves about being able to fix people. We think we can change a selfish friend or make a boyfriend stop drinking. People only change when they want to change," Hershenson adds.
4. That You Can Control Every Situation
Similar to above but in a greater context, there are some things in life you simply can't control: Being fired, the weather, a work meeting you'd rather not have but know is necessary, and more. Instead, "practice acceptance," says Hershenson. "Make a list of what you can control in the situation and what you can't control. Focus on what you can control to make change and accept what you cannot control," Hershenson recommends.
Complete article > https://tinyurl.com/y9fb5nvl
