How to Detox Your Life of Negative People and Feel Good About It

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain

First, let me state my definition of a toxic person- A person who complains and dumps their problems on you but doesn’t do anything to change their situation. Someone who is not supportive. Someone who makes you feel badly about yourself. Someone who shoots down your bright ideas, big goals, or bold (and risky) decisions. Toxic people are usually in a place in their life where they are not open to constructive feedback or changing, so they are stuck in their current situation and don’t have the insight to see beyond their own struggles.

Secondly, this article isn’t intended to paint toxic people in a negative light. This article is meant to guide you in making sure their negativity doesn’t impact your life.

First, why it’s important to detox your life of negative people:

• Negative people slow you down towards achieving your goals. They discourage you from being ambitious or following your dreams by questioning what you’re doing and planting doubts into your head.
• Negative energy from toxic people effect your energy level, not to mention your stress and anxiety.
• You need to create space for positive change to happen. Being in toxic relationships with people and allowing their negative energy into your life will hold you back from manifesting opportunities for success. Also, releasing negative people creates space for positive people to enter, who will encourage, support, and help you grow as a person.

How to detox negative people from your life:

Step 1: Decide that you’re worth it

• You need to feel as if you’re worthy of achieving your goals and changing into the person you want to be. Letting go of any negativity in your life will help you get there faster.
• How to realize you’re worth it, you ask. Simply make the choice and decide that it’s time you committed to yourself, your goals, and your dreams and you won’t let anything or anyone slow you down.
• Think about the negative side effects of holding onto these relationships. Ask yourself:
• What effect are these relationships having on my life?
• What are my goals and how badly do I want to achieve them? Are these people supporting my goals or slowing me down?

Step 2: Identify the toxic people

• Toxic people make you feel worse than when you started talking to them. They bring your energy level down. They leave you feeling bummed out. Notice how your body feels after talking to them, particularly your chest and stomach which are areas where most of us carry stress and anxiety.
• There is a difference between someone sharing with you their struggles/challenges versus someone who constantly complains.
• Toxic people shoot down your ideas. They always question what you’re doing. They may say something like, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t change careers because you have so much job security here. What about your benefits? Or your retirement?” This is pretty common and sometimes subtle and harder to notice. Even though it may sound like they’re giving you advice, in the end they’re just putting more doubts into your head because your actions may bring up their own fears and insecurity.
• Toxic people can fall within the spectrum of being subtly draining to all around toxic and poisonous. Even if they fall on the less severe end of the spectrum, it’s important to identify this and work towards letting them go as they will still affect you negatively.

Step 3: Let them go

• Just start. Use whatever method you think is appropriate. Avoid them. Don’t pick up their calls. Apologize for being distant but know that you do not need to explain why or defend your actions.
• Avoid explanation because they are probably in a state of mind where they are not open to listening. They may take it personally that you are letting them go, and will probably get on the defensive if you try to justify your reasons.
• Do it gracefully and with love. Send them off with love and a prayer. Be open to the possibility that if and when they are ready to change and be more positive/supportive, then you would be open to rekindling the relationship.

Step 4: Don’t feel guilty

• Again, you are worth it. You must be your own BEST FRIEND. If you don’t take charge of your life and well-being, nobody will do it for you!
• You are not abandoning them even though you may feel like that. There is a distinction between abandoning someone and letting them go so they can find their own way. If you’ve already tried giving them advice, encouragement, or even a wake-up call and nothing happened, then no amount of wise words from you will change their thinking or behavior.
• It’s not your obligation to keep these people in your life regardless of the relationship. Whatever the reason, people grow and change and it’s normal for relationships to evolve, or dissolve.

Step 5: Bring in the positivity!

Surround yourself with positive people. These are people who:

• Support your ambitions
• Encourage your ideas no matter how scary, risky, or seemingly unknown the outcome could be because they know how important it is for you.
• Are up to big things. They are people you admire because you think they kick ass in life!

You are worth it and you can do this. It begins with an intention to change your life and a commitment to yourself.

This week’s tush-kickin’ challenge: Start identifying the negative relationships that you want to let go of and share with me below!

Chinh Pham is fear conqueror, life coach, Hot Hula Fitness instructor, wellness guru, and lover of life! She helps women in their 20’s and 30’s find their purpose, embrace what they’re passionate about, and find the courage to create the life of their dreams! Her vision includes helping each and every woman on this planet look and feel beautiful, inspired, and empowered enough to create a kick-ass life for herself!

To learn more about Chinh, check out her virtual home, Facebook, and sign up for FREE updates here!

 Read more at > http://tinyurl.com/8nmjzah

Amazing Inventions "Must See"

The Forty-Fruit Tree

Sam Van Aken is an art professor at Syracuse University who grew up on a family farm in Reading, Pennsylvania.He wanted to create an art project using an orchard as his canvas and blossoming trees as his paint.

However, he couldn't get funding for his idea so he decided instead to scale it down to one tree.

Van Aken started his research on creating a multi-blossoming tree by studying grafting. "I had seen grafting when I was a kid and it was something that I was always fascinated with," he said.

He quickly discovered that there were a wide variety of stone fruits such as peaches, apricots, nectarines and cherries, that were inter-compatible with each other, which meant they could possibly grow on the same tree.

The grafting technigue to do this is called chip grafting. You take a sliver of a branch with a bud from one tree and insert into an incision of your working tree.

By grafting different varieties of buds, Van Aken hoped to sculpt how and when the tree would blossom and when it would grow various kinds of fruit.

When he started looking for different varieties of buds he could use - he discovered another problem - they're hard to find.

Because of the commercialization of food production many varieties of stone fruit, among other foods, are not grown because they don't have a viable shelf life for transportation and storage.

But this doesn't mean these varieties taste bad. Quite the contrary, "These varieties are so rich in their taste," says Van Aken, "The plums that I love are the greengage plums and they came to the United States from England, but were actually in France before that."

Fortunately, Van Aken found an orchard that had hundreds of varieties of stone fruit. It belonged to the New York State Agricultural Experiment Station in Geneva, New York.

This was a facility established by the New York State Legislature in 1880 to conduct agricultural science research. Since 1923 it has been operated by Cornell University and has preserved hundreds of native and antique stone fruit varieties.

With buds in hand, Van Aken began grafting a plum tree with 40 varieties of stone fruit, a process that takes about five years before the buds grow into branches.

Forty-fruit trees can be found at selected museums, private collections and community centers in the United States. Since the fruits grow and ripen at different times of the year, the forty-fruit continually yields fruit from July to October.

Van Aken is growing a forty-fruit orchard in Portland, Maine, where he plans to allow the public to purchase the fruit harvests.

Sources: ted.com/tedx; treeof40fruit.com Photo/Image Credits: Sam Van Aken, Ronald Feldman Fine Art

Amazing Inventions: The First Digital Camera

Steven Sasson, an electrical engineer with Eastman Kodak Company, invented the digital camera.

The problem with conventional cameras was that they required images to be processed on non-reusable photographic film.

Sasson's digital camera stored images electronically in a reusable storage medium, which at the time was a tape cassette.

In December 1975, Sasson took his first digital picture. He also predicted that it would take two decades before digital photography technology would evolve to replace film photography.

Sasson was awarded the National Medal of Technology and Innovation by United States President Barack Obama. It is the most prestigious award granted by the US government to inventors.

In the three-minute interview below, Steven explains how he invented the digital camera and displays his original prototype. He also talks about a key factor in developing any inventive idea.

Amazing Inventions: The Phantom Flex

The Phantom® Flex is a high speed digital camera that uses high speed electronic "digital" imaging to record motion that is too fast for conventional cameras to perceive.

The patented technology captures high resolution images at thousands of frame rates per second with no blurring or distortion.

It allows moving targets to stay in-frame longer so more of an event can be captured. The technology was originally developed by Vision Research for motion analysis and it's still used or that purpose, however, it has been widely used in the television and motion picture industry.

This slow-motion technology is a crucial element in the production of 3D movies.

In fact, Vision Research won an Emmy® for Technical Engineering from the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.

Four employees of Vision Research, Radu Corlan, Petru Pop, Andy Jantzen and Richard Toftness also received Academy Awards® from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science.

The Phantom also won the IABN (International Association of Broadcasting Manufacturers) Design and Innovation Award, as well as the Best of What's New Award from Popular Science magazine. Below are a few examples of this technology.

Source: visionresearch.com

Amazing Inventions: A Face Lift Without Surgery

A wrap is soaked with sterile saline and applied to the face. Then cold air is blown over the wrap to freeze the underlying fat cells. This is done without damaging the skin or surrounding tissues.

The photos on the right show the face lift before and after the procedure.

There is no pain medication or recovery time required because there are no needles, drugs, knifes, lasers or suction used in this process.

This non surgical face lift technology is known as cryolipolysis™ (cold lipolysis), which means the breakdown of fat by freezing.

The Food and Drug Administration approved this procedure in September, 2010 as a cooling technology for eliminating fat cells without harming the skin.

Thousands have already received this non surgical face lift procedure. The average cost is about $1500 to $3,000.

This technology was licensed to Zeltiq, a medical device company that develops and distributes medical inventions for non-intrusive cosmetic improvements.

Venture capital was provided by Advanced Technology Ventures, Frazier Healthcare Venture, Venrock and Aisling Capital.

Read related article on tissue regeneration.

Source: msnbc.com global.coolsculpting.com

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Awesome site > http://www.inventor-strategies.com/amazing-inventions.html

Recreational dating: have fun finding what you want in a relationship

Not all dating has to be a search for “The One.” Recreational dating—dating just for fun—serves a very important role. You may not be ready for a committed relationship for a number of reasons, and just want to have a good time. Especially if you recently ended a long-term relationship, just doing some recreational dating is a great idea. Besides, as you play the field, you might stumble on your perfect partner.

Do

• be honest
• set a time limit
• break it off when problems start
• honor your own boundaries
• use it as an opportunity to learn about yourself

Don't

• be exclusive
• let sex get in the way

• assume compatibility and having fun mean a long-term relationship will work
• slide into a permanent relationship—make a conscious choice

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Be clear that you are not ready for a committed relationship and just want to have some fun, and be sure that your ‘dating companion’ feels the same way. Even though it may feel a bit awkward at first, if you are not clear about your intentions, you may find yourself in an even more uncomfortable position.

What if your date thinks this is about being “a couple” and has developed romantic feelings for you, and you don’t feel that way? You will be faced with having to say things that will be hurtful, or even having to end a relationship that could be a good friendship.

When you are honest right up front you can just enjoy the time together and not worry about assumptions the other person is making about where this relationship is going. You might change your mind along the way—and be honest about that if it happens. 

Do set a time limit

There are two reasons to do this:

First, the longer a casual dating relationship goes on, the more your friends and family are likely to think you are in a serious relationship. That’s great if you have made a conscious decision that your once-casual date now has a lot of potential, and you are thinking about making a commitment. But, if you’re not, this long-term casual dating relationship is probably sending the wrong message.

Second, if you get complacent, you might miss “The One” because you aren’t paying attention. 

Do break it off when problems start

Why in the world would you want to invest time and energy in saving a relationship that doesn’t have a chance of being the right one for you? It’s time to move on. No one needs that kind of drama for no good reason! Acknowledge that it was fun while it lasted and it served its purpose. No hard feelings—especially if you were honest up front.

Do honor your own boundaries

As you embark on your quest to have a good time, decide what you are and are not willing to do. Is casual sex okay with you? If not, be clear about that and don’t compromise. Do you intend to date others if a good opportunity comes along? What do you expect your ‘dating companion’ to do? Communicate that both ways.

How much time do you want to spend together? Cohabitating should be out of the question even if sharing the rent sounds like a good financial decision. That really is a commitment and can feel a lot like a divorce when it ends.

Do use it as an opportunity to learn about yourself

Recreational dating is a great way to practice both your social skills and your relationship skills. If you mess up, heck—it was a learning experience.

This is a great time to work on writing down your requirements and needs in a relationship. Just thinking about them isn’t good enough. Have you ever thought you had a very clear idea about something until you tried to write it down and then it became a bit squishy? Writing your relationship requirements down is very important if you want to find a healthy relationship.

A good relationship coach is trained to help you get really clear about what you need for a relationship to really work for you. Working with a relationship coach can be invaluable for your future. 

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Don't

Do not be exclusive

Recreational dating is all about meeting different people. Ideally, you will be dating two or three people at the same time. However, that isn’t always possible just because of the current supply of eligible candidates.

But even if you are dating only one person at the moment, you should make it clear that this is not an exclusive relationship. That leaves you free to date someone else who appears in your world. Who knows, he or she just might be the person you’ve been searching for. What a tragedy if you miss her or him because you were exclusively dating someone who you were really just having fun with.

Do not let sex get in the way

Having sex can be a trap—especially for women. We often focus on the chemistry under the covers and interpret good sex as love. It’s easy to think of sex as a kind of compatibility test – if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well.

Women especially can become emotionally attached to her sex partner and begin to think she is in a kind of committed relationship as soon as you have sex. Understand that a relationship needs more than great sex to thrive. 

Do not assume compatibility and having fun mean a long-term relationship will work

So often we think that if you are having fun together and are getting along well, you are compatible and a committed relationship will work. The truth is—the process and criteria for choosing a recreational relationship are very different from choosing a Life Partner.

In a successful long-term relationship you definitely need to feel compatible, but there is much more to it. You have to be compatible on many more levels than having fun and getting along in a dating relationship. And there are issues in addition to compatibility that you both must be aligned on for it to work.
 

Do not slide into a permanent relationship—make a conscious choice

Things are going so well. You are having a ball and the sex is great. Terrific! Enjoy it!

As the weeks and months pass, you become a couple and are very emotionally entwined. That sure feels good!

Rather than just letting momentum carry you along this pleasant stream, stop for a moment and make a conscious choice. Look at all of the aspects of a long-term relationship that are important to you. Are all the important things there in this relationship? Are you making any excuses about behavior or beliefs?

A really big mistake couples make is not talking about all of the aspects of their possible life together and their assumptions about it: a couple who had been married for five years were living their idyllic life—until he said he wanted to start their family and she said she never intended to have a family. They are divorced now.

Talking through your expectations and consciously deciding that you are compatible on all levels is critical to a happy long-term relationship.

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Summary

Dating just for fun is a great strategy. Just be clear about what you want and communicate it to your dating partner. Use that time to learn about yourself and what you want in a relationship, and be sure you make a conscious choice before moving into a more committed relationship.

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More expert advice about Dating

• Best practices on surviving and being successful in online dating
• How to ask a girl out on a first date
• Relationship advice for successfully dating a recovering addict
• What to do if you find out the person you are dating is married
• Warning signs that the man you are dating is not right for you

Photo Credits: #31434609 - Leisure © Deklofenak - Fotolia.com; Check Man, Cross Man and Jump Man © ioannis kounadeas - Fotolia.com

*The conflict typically being is that men speak with their mouths as women listen with their hearts.

*The HTML was a little jacked on this post yet the info dictated it was worth publishing.